Goteregler

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Goth 101 (the rules)

1: Vinyl is a privilege not a right. Nobody likes to see Shamu in a trashbag.

2: Watch yourself dance in the mirror, if you just look like you're clearing away cobwebs, STOP.

3: If you say you're goth, you're not. If you say you aren't goth, you're still not, you're just snottier.

4: Metal is not goth, PERIOD.

5: If your corset gives you cleavage in the back, you need to wear something else. Actually, if anything other than your tits looks like it's trying to escape, rethink your outfit.

6: If you're wearing 3 grand worth of clothing and jewelry, don't tell those of us who work for a living how hard life is.

7: You are not a DJ.

8: Unless you are AT LEAST in your mid-thirties, you are not old school.

9: Guys, if you dress like a transvestite at a funeral, people WILL call you a fag. Deal with it.

10: If you dress like the fucking Addams family, but with more make-up: DON'T BITCH ABOUT PEOPLE STARING AT YOU OR JUDGING YOU. You deliberately made a bad first impression, suck it up. Don't bitch about it or intellectualize it. You look like a freak, people will treat you like a freak. Get used to it.

11: If you think that goth is about individuality, try this: Wear a pink spandex jumpsuit to the club next time. See how many of your "nonjudgmental, open-minded" goth friends accept your individuality then.